Forwards to Happiness!
Things to look forward to:
- Flying cars allow the ability to cut people off on the y-axis
- People of the earth finally overcoming their differences and joining together to battle a peaceful (but pretentious!) alien civilization
- The discovery of Martian pornography
- Miss Universe actually means Miss Universe (spoiler: the chick from Total Recal Wins)
- Being able to instantly transport matter form place to place
- Repopulating the human race after the abuse of matter transporters leaves 90% of the population as horribly disfigured mutant hybrids
- Finally being able to destroy that godamned sun…thinks he’s so tough…
- Whalers on the moon
- Turns out there’s a point in space like a giant mirror in which beyond lies our same very own existence but where the time goes backwards starting from when we first discovered it. Also thinking our reflection was another battleship we accidentally destroy it erasing all of our history as well as future suspending all existence indefinitely in a state of perpetual nothingness from which the only escape is a radiation wave so large that the only thing that can cause it is the exploding of a sun exactly the size of our very own. As luck would have it at that very moment the radiation waves from our sun that we successfully destroyed years earlier just happened to reach this point in space the same instant the space mirror was destroyed which gave everyone the effect of nothing happening at all.
- Space bacon
Stop Eating My Brains!
Video coming back soon
Stop Eating My Brains!
(c) 2004
This short film was made as a semester long project at Keene State’s Film3 class. It was shot on Super-16mm B&W Kodak film with a classic Bolex H16 Reflex spring-wound camera. Spring wound means there was no power or battery, the camera could run the film through for a maximum of about 30 seconds without having to wind the mechanism again. It also sported a dial on the side that you could spin during filming to change the fps rate within the camera. The front also mounted 3 seperate lenses that you could spin into place for easy and quick lens switching. The sound was done completely in post since there was no recording done with a sperate device during filming (hence no dialogue, also a requirement). We shot about 10 rolls of film, or 30 minutes or so if I remember correctly. Once developed it was telecined onto S-VHS (oh boy) and put into our Avid systems where I edited it together and added all the sound and music. It took about 5 not-full days of shooting and around 100 hours or so to edit and to the sound mix. The budget was around $700 completely for the film and development costs and a light meter. And maybe another $30 for various food items which were destroyed.
Look for an updated version coming soon with a commentary track with more details about specific scenes and the awesome FX!
Enjoy!
Skating For the Gold!
Is your need to see a skater that looks strikingly like a child predator falling two stories and getting impaled on a fence going unsatisfied? How about witnessing the same man now mentally handicapped running amok along the city sidewalk? Well, boy are you lucky that you’re my friend and visit my blog-o-blag! I recorded these videos with my character (who I’ve lovingly named Hector Ricky-Bob Santiago Camaro) during some Skate 2 play and recently rediscovered them on the Skate.Reel site.
Feel free to watch the rest that I’ve uploaded here.
Also Crank 2 came out the past weekend as did the CD for the Original Soundtrack done entirely by Mike Patton. I’m happy to say that the music is exactly as Patton as one would expect and is a fantastic work of art. It sounds the most similar to Fantomas with a bit of Mr. Bungle. It works extremely well on it’s own as well and I highly recommend heading over to Amazon or iTunes or your music distributor of choice and giving it a listen. The entire 32 track album is great, my favorite at the moment are the main theme, “Chelios”, “The Hammer Drops” and the fantastic polka “El Huron.”
Motorcycle Helmets: The Wave of the Future
Warning: Incredibly sage advice incoming! I hope that you are satisfied being lonely, because you are about to become so rich that it will alienate you from everyone you care about.
Buy stock in motorcycle helmets now.
I have just finished five years of intensive research and all signs point to a dramatic increase in the consumption and usage of black motorcycle helmets in the very near future.
During this time I have managed to obtain inside access to certain classified information. This classified information tells me that within a short few years (by 20xx at the most) all government enforcement agencies will be employing black motorcycle helmets as part of their newest uniform changes. Joining the motorcycle helmets with be a completely leather garb consisting of a black leather trench coat, black leather pants and shin-high black leather boots. I am currently unsure if they plan to employ stun-batons or laser-pistols.
For some curious reason, the helmets are also apparently going to include “E-Z 2 Break” shatter-prone glass face shields. Although this does seem a bit counter-productive, I’m sure that Father no doubt has has a fantastic reason for including this technology formerly used in saloon windows.
These changes come as a part of a much wider governmental reform aimed to curb recent spikes in “dissent and the possibility of uprising.”
Hail Father.
Pro tip: Other items worth investing in include flaming spires, leather, holograms and the color black. Be careful though, get ready to quickly dump books, art, music, emotions, free thought and self-identity!
9 (and Mike Patton)
While seeing Coraline in 3D last weekend they showed a trailer for a new CG movie that I have yet to hear of called 9. The trailer got me pretty excited, especially due to my romantic infatuation with anything post-apocalyptic.
Trailer:
The original short it was be based on:
High(er) Quality Version
On a completely unrelated note Mike Patton recently talked about Faith No More reuniting (sans guitarist Jim Martin) for a European tour. As cool as this is, I was more interested by a little note that I had not previously heard. Since I loved the first Crank, I’ve been excited ever since I’ve heard about the sequel, but now my excitement has reached a new height somewhere slightly above “free bacon and beef jerky day.” Apparently Mike Patton has been busy recently doing his first ever fully original film score, for Crank 2: High Voltage. I think this is going to be awesome.
Fun fact: Patton contributed his voice for the ‘infected’ in Left 4 Dead.
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